Time to Make Time

How many hours are in your day? 8, 16, 24? Truth is that each day is really 24 hours but what does that mean? How we manage those hours and how many of them are truly functional is a real conversation. How many of us really have enough time in the day to complete all of the demands we face each day let alone the time to take a few minutes to reflect on how we use that time or if it is an effective use?

It is not uncommon for me to get random text messages from my teenage children throughout the day with their "crisis of the moment". My older child has started to taper with her transition into adulthood after graduating high school but my high school child continues to navigate teenage years in a way, lets say, differently than I would have when I was a teenager. Sure, this is a much different generation and navigation has changed. Our human GPS has different programming, we are using much more intricate software and the roads are new and sometimes uncharted. Surprisingly, one of the text messages I received in the middle of my own crammed day served a much deeper purpose recently.

Usually, I myself am juggling irregular work schedule across several roles, the demands of managing a family including children, spouse and elder parent. Needless to say, the "pop-up" S.O.S. from a child during the day that needs triage can be added stress while maintaining duty to clients, respecting work environments and maintaining professional practice. Luckily, despite the "OMG, MOM - I only have $10 on my lunch balance" vibrating my phone in my pocket feeling like a crisis to my child; we have established that a true crisis would likely be one that ended with me being located at work and pulled away.  You know, major accident, illness or injury - not lunch money. This has worked.

During a period of downtime, after feeling that familiar "pocket buzz", I opened my text messages and read a short message from my son. "Hey, mom, I am so proud of you for writing your story. Can you share your book stuff with me so that I can use it for a project in my English class?"

My whole day paused. I had a rush of emotion for all of the times that may have been hard, thinking about how I have spent so much time so often rushing through my days and often forget about doing what I suggest to others is so important. Learn to say no and take important time for important things.

Was I suggesting to say no to my son's request? Not at all. On the contrary, I felt I had reached a moment I longed for in hearing my children express pride in their mom - a life goal. At the same time, I had this terrifying realization that my failure to "say no" professionally, to overextend myself, and to grant way too much uncompensated access to myself cost me valuable time.  I had to tell my son that the book he wanted to share and use for his project wasn't completed.

Earlier this year I began a work about the importance of valuing time. The premise of the work is making decisions about our time is acceptable despite how others may perceive our choices; a declination can really be a positive contribution to one's opportunity to use time in alternative ways. The irony that I was not able to share this work in finished form with my son, or others for that matter, was my indication that I needed to take my own advice.
It's time to make time!